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how it happened

​"this wouldn’t have happened
if I had been obedient
followed the footsteps
of those with kind intentions
 
taken all the advices and offers
given to me
and followed through diligently
 
this wouldn’t have happened
if I was the daughter
grand daughter
niece
wife
daughter-in-law
mother
that I was supposed to be
 
this happened
when I decided
to
step into
my inner world
stepped up
to my own voice
and
stepped out
to the world
I want to be living in
 
this couldn’t happen
if I had everything
given to me on a platter
and taken
the sure and safe route
mapped out for me
 
it wouldn’t have happened
if I didn’t question status quo
and
stepped on my own toes
get hurt
blamed
broken
 
it happened
because I was
ridiculed
shamed
guilt-ridden
with a dash of
abuse
loss
depression
 
all in the name of
tough love
“it’s business not personal”
striving towards
a definition of success
that I did not own
 
it happened
because
the people I love
and care for
love and care
for me
supports and
encourage me
through their own
language of love
 
this happened
when I decided
that only I
can walk
my own journey
 
I can invite
others to join me
but I need to love
my own path first
without anyone’s permission
without apprehension 

​just be present ”

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